This human experience

“Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?” -From Swing Life Away by Rise Against

Life’s funny. Darn, even that’s a cliche. I guess when I sit down to ponder the oddities of the journey of life, some cliches are bound to spring forth before I realize what’s happened. It’s so strange to me to consider how very far off most of us are when we think we know what we want out of life. There are so many things that I used to fantasize about as a little girl. But when the fantasies actually came true, they were inevitably disappointing. Nothing ever turns out to be what I imagined it would. And then there are the things that I wanted so badly…so badly. But looking back, all I can do is thank God I didn’t get what I longed for. I didn’t know what I wanted. I thought I knew, and I was dead wrong.

I’m the kind of person who always needs to be planning out my entire future. No matter that I have no idea if I will even wake up tomorrow morning. I need to know what I’ll be doing in 50 years, and I need to know now. Why is that? It’s part entertainment, part desperate grasping for something to look forward to, part insecurity that demands to be in control of my life. I think we all do it. We’re all looking for fulfillment. For contentment. For that something extra beyond the regular stuff that’s gonna satisfy our searching, longing, lust for life. I guess that’s why they call it the human “race.” What are we racing towards? Or what are we running from?

It’s easy to ignore the present by fixating on the future. Life will be so perfect once I graduate. Once I get married. Once I have a house of my own and a budget to decorate with. Once I have children, and a dog. Why is it that none of the things we get ever seem to satisfy us? Maybe we’re chasing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons…

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About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
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4 Responses to This human experience

  1. Anonymous says:

    You make a great point, people are always looking “forward” to something that may or may not ever arrive. Life if happening right now, this very second and if you don’t understand that, life will pass you by before you realize it. Enjoy every minute and treat this day like it is your last. You’ll be amazed at how ordinary things suddenly look exciting.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Follow your heart and you’ll get exactly where you were meant to be.

  3. nicolemueller says:

    Sometimes our hearts lie to us. The heart is a fickle, illogical, impulsive thing…maybe that’s why it gets broken so easily. Sorry to sound cynical.

  4. Anonymous says:

    You are correct the heart is all those things. It is also warm, caring and most importantly loving and it will never lie to you. You may interpret its feeling incorrectly but you are doing so with a jaundice eye. Yes at some point in your life your heart will be broken, probably more than once. But believe me (I have a few years on you and many tattered pieces of my heart broken several times as witness) the rewards of giving totally of yourself far outweigh the possible hurts. You will never experience the fullness of life and love unless you totally give of yourself. From your writing I think you are passionate about things but you are not letting that on to others.

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