A legal pain in my butt

A bit of advice for saving money- don’t get pulled over. *Warning- This is a rant.

Driving back to Columbia from St. Charles last night, I dropped my boyfriend off in Defiance. Then I took Hwy T through Foristell to get on I-70, not my usual route. I didn’t even speed, a rarity for me. Everything was fine and dandy til I pulled on the ramp for 70, and then I heard the dreaded siren, and saw a flash of lights in my mirrors. Crap.

I signaled. I yielded. But darn it all, I didn’t bother to renew my license plates. They expired at the end of September. 12 DAYS! THEY WERE ONLY 12 DAYS OLD. But Mr. Foristell super trooper didn’t seem to mind. He wasn’t impressed by my girlish charm. He wasn’t pleased by my flawless legal driving, or the fact that I was wearing my seatbelt. He rudely refused to acknowledge my rabbit who was sitting in the front seat beside me. And he had no interest in my story that I needed to get my new insurance cards when I was home for the weekend in order to get my inspection. “You could have had them mailed to you.” Thanks for the advice, bud.

Honestly, I thought I’d get a warning. I little slap on the wrist. A gentle nudging to get my rear in gear and head on over to the license bureau. That’s what any compassionate, generous human being would have done. But nooo. “I’m issuing you a citation for driving with expired plates.” (piss!) I nod agreeably at him. My roadside manners are impeccable. “The court wants compliance. If you show up to the court date and show that you’ve taken care of it…I’ve seen the judge be very generous.” Generous. Maybe that’s a trait you should work on, buddy. Can I go to the court date? Well, it’s on a Tuesday. In Foristell. That’s what? 75 miles from Columbia? Is it worth it for a $70 ticket?

I’m not a cop hater. I really respect them, and think some of them really put their butts on the line to make our society better. Goodness knows I was a menace to society. I’m sure Mr. Foristell Cop slept soundly last night, satisfied with the knowledge that he stopped a dangerous criminal in her tracks.

Seriously, doesn’t he have something better to do with his time? Isn’t there someone in Foristell running a red light, nearly causing a messy collision? It was evening- shouldn’t he have been gearing up to snatch some drunken idiots off the road before they kill someone? Foristell has a lot of wide open land- isn’t there some meth lab he should be sniffing out and busting? Look, buddy, some crazy meth-cooking fool is probably right on the brink of blowing himself up out in Foristell. But he can’t be bothered with that right now. He’s very busy saving the world from college girls terrorizing the roads with our slightly expired license plates. Thank goodness he was around. I can’t even imagine the damage I might have caused if he hadn’t pointed out the error of my ways.

According to my boyfriend, we need a justice league.

Me-“I can’t believe the people haven’t risen up in revolution yet.”

Michael- “I know! What’s taking so long?”

Me- “They need a leader. You should do it.”

Michael-“I would, but I’m just so busy.”

And there you have it, folks. Apathetic college students kill the justice league. Justice just takes so much…effort. I would say more but, well, I’m just so busy too. Guess I’ll just have to pay my ticket.


About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
This entry was posted in Contentment, Life as we know it and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A legal pain in my butt

  1. Mike says:

    Bravo! That was very entertaining. ‘He rudely refused to acknowledge my rabbit who was sitting in the front seat beside me.’ What a dirtbag! I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say piss in a fit of rage… It made me laugh though 😉 Hopefully jane can help you get this sorted out.

  2. nicolemueller says:

    Says Jane: “Honey, you don’t have to worry about that court date. I work for an attorney.”

    Yeah, stepmom, yeah!

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