If I were a politician

Question. Name something super annoying, pointless, and wasteful.

Answer. Political ads in the mail.

Does anyone really decide who to vote for based on the incessant flow of spam mail stuffed in their mailbox every day leading up to the election? If anything, I might be inclined to withdraw my support from anyone who feels the need to send two full page ads unsolicited to my private residence every single day. Talk about wasteful- they’re glossy. Not sure about the rest of the country, but in Columbia you can’t recycle glossy paper. At least 50 trees have probably given their lives for ads I’ve thrown away during this campaign. They’re not even informative. Most of the ads we get aren’t even for a candidate, they are just against the candidate’s opponent. Yes, that is exactly what we need. More mudslinging. No wonder Americans don’t have any confidence in our government and politicians. They spend all their money trying to convince the public that the rest of them are thieves, criminals, and quite possibly the antichrist. Ok, I’m convinced. They all are. One big thieving criminal antichrist working together to destroy us.

If I were a politician, my campaign platform would be something like this:

My opponent is a respectable person trying to help our country. But my policy makes more sense. Here’s why. (Insert rational explanations, without putting down opponent). Please check out my website for more information. I’m confident you’ll agree with my plan. Your opinion matters, please vote. πŸ™‚

Oh, and I would make Fridays officially part of the weekend. Four days of work and three days of rest seems a lot more reasonable than the current setup.

Politicians, blech! About as trustworthy as journalists. Oh, wait…that’s me…


About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
This entry was posted in Life as we know it and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to If I were a politician

  1. Anonymous says:

    four day work weeks, that sounds like socialism to me. You’d like to sit on your ass 3 days a week and receive a full weeks pay. America doesn’t need people like you. You commy, hard-work hating, criminal loving, anti-christ. If you want a four day work week you can go to France……….


  2. Mere says:

    Amen! To the original story, not the above comment. I’m so sick of those ads, not to mention the fact that they think both Emily and I need a copy. BAH! Also, I would consider voting for you if you made 4 day work weeks. That sounds superb!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I think America would be a better place if our politicians thought like you. Unfortunately, no matter what a politician says the opposite side is going to attack. The media should ignore attacks, but we’re so determined to be “fair” that we get involved in discussions on whether or not so and so is a socialist when we should be focused on policy consequences. I think a lot of people in America care more about ideas than people, and that’s too bad.

  4. Mike says:

    Wow, I hope the first anonymous person is being sarcastic… I hadn’t realized the difference between socialism and capitalism is one extra day in the work week. Haha.

    Anyway, I couldn’t agree more about the mudslinging issue. I have yet to receive ads in the mail, but it wouldn’t surprise me if I got one sometime this week.

    I know the political issues weigh heavy on your mind, but if it’s any consolation, I’d vote for you πŸ˜€ haha. It’s all about the 4 day work week!

  5. Nicole says:

    Dear Anonymous,
    Why so anonymous? If you’re gonna call me a “commy, hard-work hating, criminal loving, anti-christ,” you should man up and do it in person, or at least in your own name. I like France very much. They have great crepes. Maybe I will go there.

    Furthermore, who said anything about getting paid on Fridays? You should be careful putting words in people’s mouths.

    Ps- Yes, haha πŸ™‚

  6. Mom says:

    Yes, it IS a lot of wasted paper…and what about the wasted space on my answering machine?!?
    I was decided a long time ago, but I still joy in “hanging up” on the recorded voice of either my candidate’s or his opponent’s proponents.
    I wouldn’t mind the negatives as much if they were actually related to what might really happen to the country should this person get elected, instead of what you personally dislike about thier family, clothing, church, manner of speech, friends, gender (in case you haven’t figured it out, this is a bi-partisan attack on personal attacks!)
    That’s right, someone with a chosen political persuasion who can still be objective about both sides…refreshing?…maybe I should run….

  7. Emily says:

    I will vote for you if you give me fridays off. Even if you go to France.
    In fact, especially if you go to France, and you take me with you.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Well let me tell you about me. My parents are Brazilian, and like all brazilians (I’m sure this is untrue) they only gave me one name, and guess what that name is. Yup, it’s Anonymous. I wasn’t hiding from you. You can look me up in the phone book, and we can fight in person. You’d might want to be careful though because I beat up bulls for fun-it’s a brazilian past time, I know I’m brazilian.

    I don’t know about French crepes because I’m an American-and brazilian I have duel citizenship; maybe I was born on a military base or something. We stay in America. Examining the success and failures of international political and economic systems is unamerican.

    signed your MORTAL enemy,…

  9. Nicole says:

    I call your bluff. You may beat up bulls for fun, but I see your weakness in your confession of being my MORTAL enemy. You see, I’m immortal. So any battle between us will probably end badly for you. We are both liars now.

    I’ll have you know, I’m as American as apple pie. Except for the fact that I’m almost all German, and proud of it. The thing I’m not is a Democrat. Or a Republican. Or a communist or socialist. I’m a constitutionalist. An independent. A free thinker. Our kind are hard to come by these days, and don’t get much representation in politics. I say down with the two-party system, or at least the electoral college. It has failed us as a democracy.

    Furthermore, I’ll kick your bull bullying butt any day of the week. I don’t need to fight animals to make myself feel big and tough. I just know I am.

  10. Anonymous #2 says:

    Who is sticking up for the bulls? Nice side comment about being German, but then again everyone wants to be German.

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