It’s always good to stay up to date on the goings-on of the world, and it’s so much more interesting when the goings-on are a bit on the quirky side. So here’s my random news roundup for the night, complete with my highly qualified, frequently sought-after personal commentary.
In our first story, a 20 year old university student gets attacked by a panda in a zoo in China. The idiot climbed over a six and a half foot fence into the cage because the panda ” was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him.” As it turns out, the 176 lb panda was more of a bear than a teddy, and bit his uninvited guest til zookeepers rescued him. The BBC reports the panda has recovered from the encounter. Genuis boy had an operation and is confined to the hospital for a few days, but he’s ok, too. I hope he learned his lesson.
Next up is the tale of a lady who was supposed to have a brain tumor, but when doctors went to remove it, they found out it was really a live worm. Watch out, this video isn’t for the squeamish. The doctor said she probably ate some undercooked meat. That might make you think twice before ordering your next steak rare. Strictly chicken for me.
Everyone loves rock n roll, so let’s wrap things up with a story about Guns N Roses. They finally released their album, Chinese Democracy, that has been in the works since 1994. Since 1994?? Ok, a time capsule is in order here:
In 1994: Bill Clinton is president. NAFTA goes into effect. Figure skating gets nasty when Tanya Harding hires someone to club Nancy Kerrigan in the knee. Richard Nixon, Kurt Cobain, and John Candy die. Nelson Mandela becomes South Africa’s first black president. 18 year-old Tiger Woods wins the Masters. OJ Simpson kills Nicole (Well…you decide). Friends and ER premier on NBC. New movies include Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, and The Shawshank Redemption.
Anyway, the point is that Guns N Roses took their sweet time with this one. The album’s release caused the loss of a bet of sorts by Dr. Pepper, who had said they would give everyone a free soda if Chinese Democracy came out in ’08. Bottom line? Go to dr.pepper.com this Sunday to get a voucher for a free Dr. Pepper! This is silly. No further comment.
Thus ends my random news roundup for the night.