I got in bed around 1 am. As I lay there, thoughts running through my head, I felt completely wide awake. Great, I thought, the tea I drank at 4:30 this afternoon is gonna keep me up. Ridiculous. But apparently I fell into a deep sleep shortly after that.
The next thing I remember is around 1:30 am. I sat bolt upright and heard myself gasp audibly. I probably almost screamed. My heart was pounding and I was utterly terrified. I have no idea why. I got out of bed but laid right back down again. I tried to calm down and go to sleep, but I was extremely tense, listening for noises and trying to figure out what had happened. I guess I had a nightmare, but I don’t remember anything.
I couldn’t seem to calm down, so around 2 am I decided to get up briefly to get my mind off it and relax somehow. My heart was still beating fast. I turned on my light and latched my bedroom door, which I almost always do but hadn’t tonight for some reason. I called Michael and talked to him briefly, just told him what happened to hear another voice and hopefully feel better by getting it off my chest. Luckily he was still up studying for a test. I decided to get online to further separate myself from whatever thought/dream had given me this terrible feeling. (That brings me to this post.)
I wrote before about having unpleasant dreams…but I never have anything like this. Although my dreams are often upsetting and sometimes scary, I guess they aren’t nightmares like whatever must have freaked me out tonight. I never wake up in a state of panic. I hope it’s not a new habit I’m about to acquire, because it was horrible. Maybe I didn’t dream at all, maybe I just heard something outside. Who knows. Hopefully whatever it was will leave my poor little head and heart alone now.
I’m going back to bed.