Worst Wedding Nightmare

I just woke up from the worst wedding nightmare I’ve had so far.

We were totally unprepared. Everything that isn’t done now (in real life) wasn’t done in my wedding dream, and then some. I hadn’t picked music so something random played. My dad didn’t walk me down the aisle, I just saw that it was starting and had to get up there. Michael was wearing jeans and a button-down shirt. I was wearing a wedding dress, but it was the wrong one. It was drab. I hadn’t gotten my hair done. In fact, it looked like I hadn’t washed my hair in three days – it hung limp and gross. No makeup. No church decorations.

Jon (our friend and officiant) wasn’t into it at all. During the ceremony while we were standing up there, he kept saying “I’m so tired. I’m just so tired.” I realized I never got around to picking Bible verses, but hoped Jon had planned it without me. He didn’t. Instead he sang “Light Up the Sky,” which is a cool Christian song they’re playing constantly on Joy FM right now. But he sang it really half-heartedly, I guess since he was so tired.

I kept trying to hold Michael’s hand. I figured, well, we’re here now. We might as well make the best of it whether we’re ready or not. But I couldn’t find his hand, even though he was standing right next to me.

The ceremony ended. I don’t know how anybody could tell it was the end because there was really no ceremony to begin with. Michael turned and walked casually down the aisle by himself. He left me standing at the altar and joined a crowd of people who were letting themselves out. Someone said to him, “Hey, guess what? You’re married now.” To which he replied, “Meh. I guess so.”

I made it about halfway down the aisle by myself and then burst out crying. My mom was there hugging me. She was being sympathetic and trying to console me. Then all the sudden she would change and act like it wasn’t that bad and I should stop being a brat.

“We forgot the flowers,” I said. “Why wouldn’t they call us?”

“Oh, the flowers,” she said.

I had been sobbing and making a huge scene in the church, then suddenly we were in the church’s tiny bathroom.

“We forgot to pick music or order bulletins or get my hair done. I never bought Michael a ring. We just forgot. We just forgot to do all those things. How could we forget?”

“Well, there’s been a lot going on lately,” my mom said, like it was understandable that we neglected to plan my wedding. We had just gotten back from the kayaking trip that my mom and I are taking this weekend in real life. That would explain why my hair was so gross. “That’s how life always is. You get busy. Like this year, Thanksgiving is right around Christmastime. Things overlap.” Sure…that makes sense. Not.

I walked out of the bathroom, helplessly trying to figure out what to do next. We had a reception hall booked but hadn’t picked out food or a band or DJ. Would the hall have food for us anyway? We didn’t pick out a cake. I started wondering if they would have a pre-made plain white cake that we could just use.

I saw Shannon in jeans and a t-shirt and realized none of my other bridesmaids and none of Michael’s groomsmen were even there. And I guess none of them ever ordered the dresses I picked out or tuxedos. About half of the guests remained seated in the pews. Apparently they wanted to be dismissed.

“What do we do with them?” I asked my mom. “Do we just leave them to figure it out?”

“Well, we need to apologize to them and explain that that was it.” She went up to the altar and procured a microphone and began apologizing for my horrid wedding.

“Tell them they can have a full refund,” I said.

“Well,” my grandma said in a lecturing voice, “you know, dear…”

“I know, ” I interrupted, half dejected and half sarcastic. “I’m married now and that’s all that matters.” But what an embarrassment. What a disaster. And what of this husband who doesn’t seem to care at all? I couldn’t even find him. I was feeling ashamed of myself. I thought I didn’t care about all of that materialistic stuff involved in the wedding. Why should I care? It’s just silliness. I felt so horrible. I started crying again, desperate, miserable, wracking sobs. I felt like a kid throwing a tantrum. I failed miserably at keeping up appearances.

I woke up. The dream was so vivid, it took me a few groggy minutes to think clearly and know that it wasn’t real. I don’t feel like I’m stressed about wedding planning. But I guess on some level I must be. I used to have wedding nightmares about my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding while I was helping plan it. I even had a few nightmares about it after they were successfully married. Something was always going wrong in those dreams and I was panicked and trying to figure out how to fix it. I had a couple nightmares about my wedding over the summer, but haven’t had one in a while. Those were not nearly as bad as this one. They always had to do with being unprepared, but they didn’t carry much emotion and it was more like watching from a distance than living it out.

Real wedding plans are coming along just fine. My overly pessimistic always anxious subconscious can just calm down. (On the upside, I slept all the way through the night, which hasn’t been the case most nights lately.)

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About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
This entry was posted in Life as we know it, Relationships and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Worst Wedding Nightmare

  1. Mere says:

    I’m so sorry your subconscious is acting up. I promise I will be at your w easing and I WILL have my dress πŸ™‚

  2. Anonymous says:

    why aren’t you sleeping thru the nights? also, i’m honored that i did not make it into the disaster of a wedding day dream. this way, i don’t feel guilty to adding to a wedding that sucked. i’m very sure your wedding will be basically polar opposite of this. hahaha, this made me laugh.

  3. Nicole says:

    I don’t know. I’ve had sleep problems off and on for years. I haven’t been sleeping well ever since we got back from Colorado. Perhaps there’s just too much air down here.

    I hope you’ll show up at my real wedding, whether it sucks or not. Am I allowed to call you by name on here, or do you wish to be anonymous to the masses?

    Mere- W easing? That is a really interesting typo. I’m trying to figure out how you even did it. (You know how I love to pick on you.)

  4. Mere says:

    Blame the iPhone and quick typing before a virology talk started at the retreat πŸ™‚ But it is a pretty amazing typo.

  5. Nicole says:

    Oh yeah – I need to hear about this retreat! Call me sometime.

  6. Amy says:

    Oh dear. What am I going to do with you? This is a totally ridiculous dream. You know that there is no way we would let such awful things happen to you on your wedding day. Everyone will be there on time and dressed beautifully. And I really truly doubt that your dad would miss walking you down the aisle for anything. And after the perfect ceremony with amazing music and is preformed by an attentively alert Jon you and Michael will walk hand in hand down the aisle where he will be the happiest guy in the place. Oh and like I was trying to say after all of that we will take perfect pictures and dance all night long and have a wonderful dinner and excellent cake!

    I will tell you this everyday if that is what you need to hear to make these terrible and false dreams go away.

    NO MORE WEDDING SHOWS FOR YOU YOUNG LADY! AND NO FOOD 2 HOURS BEFORE BED. I HEAR THAT HELPS WITH DREAMS. NO SNACKING! NONE NOT EVEN A CHIP.

  7. Nicole says:

    Oh I know. Thanks for the encouragement. It was only one dream. Last night I dreamed that a girl fell down 3 stories in a mall and died in a mess of gore in front of all of her friends. I just have disturbing dreams. It’s what I do.

  8. Mom says:

    Don’t worry none of these terrible things will happen. And if anything did manage to go wrong I promise I’d find the perfect balance between being sympathetic and acting like it wasn’t that bad. And don’t worry, I certainly would never call you a brat on your wedding day!
    Love
    Mom

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