100 Days

I’m getting married in 100 days.

As I start writing this, Pandora decides to play “Lucky” by Jason Mraz. Funny coincidence. How appropriate:

“They don’t know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this. Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss. I’ll wait for you, I promise you I will. I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend.”

Waiting for a long time is right. I’ve been waiting to marry my best friend since I met him in 6th grade. I’ve been waiting to marry him since he proposed almost 10 months ago. And I’ve been waiting to be reunited to him since he moved to Indiana in August.

Lucky is questionable. I believe in something higher than luck. You can call it fate; I call it God’s plan. He prepared this life for me in advance. I am not lucky – far better- I am blessed to be in love with my best friend.

I’m also scared. Not really cold feet. Just, reverently nervous about the tremendous change that’s coming. Anyone who takes marriage seriously would be a little scared. This will be one of the most important vows I make in life. God intended marriage to be a symbol of Christ’s relationship to the church. Christ, the husband, loves his church so much that he will give his life for her. The church, the bride of Christ, loves him so much that she will giver her whole life in submission to him. Marriage is to be our tangible model of perfect love, perfect trust, perfect total submission. Those are big shoes to fill.

I tend to picture marriage as the ultimate rescuer – I will escape from my old life and find blissful happiness. There will still be hard times, but they won’t get me down because I’ll have Michael with me. But I must remember that it’s not going to be easy. In fact, married life may be harder than anything I’ve experienced so far. We’ll have the full responsibility of adults, something I’ve only had hints of so far. Despite our mutual desire to be together, every day will be filled with strong demands on our time. Despite our total love for each other, we won’t always agree. Am I ready for total submission? Is he ready for 100% selfless love? Will we work through everything without hurting each other?

I am scared. But at the same time, I am not afraid. God has called us to this and he will equip us for it. I cannot wait. Will it be difficult? Of course. Will it be worth it? Absolutely. Bring on the challenge. It will be the best challenge of our lives.

TheKnot.com has created a wedding checklist for me. It says I have completed 51 to-dos, with 139 to-dos still on the list. Silly Knot. It lists lots of things I never intend to do. Also, the  process of “visualizing”, planning, printing, addressing and sending invitations constitutes like 5 or 6 different “to-dos.” I call it one: invitations. All of that will get done, and anything that doesn’t get done won’t matter in the end. As long as I have Michael, the pastor, the marriage certificate, and two witnesses to sign it, I will have my dream wedding. I’m so tired of the details. I wish we’d eloped. We could be married right now.

100 days to go. And counting.

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About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
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