Real life

Tomorrow my first loan payment is due. No more grace period. My other student loan is interest free until March. It will be a fun time when I start having payments on both of them. I won’t even talk about my credit card. I could use a job. I’ve applied for a total of 17 jobs since graduation. But I feel like I could be trying a lot harder. It’s my fault I’m not getting anywhere. I’ve only gotten a call back about one job. They decided they didn’t want to interview me once I told them I’d be moving out of state in March.

I considered keeping that information to myself in the future. It wouldn’t be lying if they didn’t ask. I just feel bad letting an employer commit the time to train me if they don’t know that I won’t be around for long. Besides the fact that I’m moving in a few months, I also need some time available for travel if I ever want to see my fiance before our wedding. His job is really tough and he hardly ever gets time off, even weekends. He often works 12+ hour shifts, often works overnight shifts, seldom gets two days off in a row and hasn’t seen a dime of overtime pay. But in this economy, it’s hard to complain about a well-paid job.

I have all these fantasies about how life should work. But then real life hits and it’s not quite the same. I can’t even get all my bridesmaids together in the same state until the wedding. I hope they all make it to the wedding. I’m very frustrated right now.

I seem to have all the time in the world, yet can’t get done the things that I want. There are always extenuating circumstances. I hate doing things alone. I love going to the gym, but I wish someone would come with me. And I’m so sick of wedding planning. All the details just frustrate me and it is revolting how much it’s all costing. If I could take it all back and just elope, maybe I would. But then I would just be sitting in Indiana, probably still not getting a job, alone while Michael works his butt off to support us.

Real life is not so bad. Not so bad at all. But sometimes it just rubs you the wrong way. I need to stop complaining and stop wallowing in self-pity. No one likes to be around people who do that.

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About Nicole

Daughter of God, wife, mother, volunteer youth leader, substitute teacher, aspiring writer, rabbit owner, nature lover. These are some of my titles.
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One Response to Real life

  1. FoolsGold says:

    I don’t know what to suggest.
    If you walk down the aisle and see someone standing there you will probably recognize him. You want to see him sooner, it seems you are going to have to go to where he is, he can’t take time off with his schedule? Whats this about no overtime pay. You tell him to keep absolutely accurate records in case he has to file a claim.
    I’d bite the bullet and move to the new location. Most employers won’t hire you if they know you are about to leave. Maybe a temp service?
    I’d put the efforts into sending resumes to the new location, not the one you are about to leave. You are virtually unemployable in your present location if you tell employers about your departure so why not move now… you can’t be worse off at the new location.
    Of course I should probably add that physical location probably doesn’t affect writing or editing jobs much, so give that a try perhaps. Good luck.

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