Abortion doesn’t come from no where. No woman wakes up and thinks, “I’d like to have an abortion.” She only makes that choice when she believes that all other options have failed her. It is a last resort. Abortion is what a woman chooses when she feels she has no choice.
How do we get to that point?
The “need” for abortion is a product of our society. Sex is casual and relationships are disposable. We don’t like to commit to anything. In America, we believe that we have a right to everything but expect freedom from consequences. Self-control is way out of style. Movies and TV can tell you that. So can Facebook. Or eavesdropping on any high school or college campus. We do what we want when we want. Forget moderation. Forget responsibility.
A lot comes down to the question of responsibility. One reason the abortion rate is so high is that men no longer take their share of responsibility. Guess what? It takes two people to get a girl pregnant. There’s always a man involved. The very fact that abortion is billed as a woman’s choice works against women. Men no longer feel responsible for the children they father. The woman can choose abortion, therefore it’s her “fault” and her “problem” if she ends up having a baby. I heard a statistic that of women polled about why they had an abortion, 80% said they sensed the father didn’t want the child. That’s huge. Does that sound like a woman’s choice to you? She thinks she has to abort because he doesn’t want the baby, he doesn’t want to help pay, he wants nothing to do with it. Men should stand up and be men. They are biologically designed to be protectors and problem-solvers. A lot of women would want to have their babies instead of abort if the fathers would just stand up and take their share of the responsibility. How sadly ironic that something championed as a woman’s right gives men a free pass to hit it and quit it.
Responsibility should also be shared by the family. Some parents throw their daughters out if they get pregnant. Why? You think that will teach her responsibility or help her keep her life on track? I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences, but I do believe families should stick together and take care of each other. How often does a guy get kicked out of the house for getting his girlfriend pregnant? Think about it. We punish the result of the action instead of the action itself. Why did you get pregnant? Well, because sex is the means of reproduction. Some parents know their kids are having sex and they don’t mind, as long as it isn’t made public by an embarrassing pregnancy. Why should unwed pregnancy be taboo if unwed sex is acceptable? We have a deadly double-standard.
Now I’m going to get real “old-fashioned” on you. Sex before marriage used to be unacceptable. If people did it, they certainly didn’t brag about it or flaunt it. Why has it become so normal to sleep with everyone you date, and some people who you might not even be dating? We are broken people. God designed sex as the most sacred and irreversible bond between two people. Every person you sleep with has a part of you, physically and emotionally, forever. It’s not meant to be shared around. Marriage is supposed to be a relationship radically different than any other relationship in the human experience. Now it is almost unrecognizable. What’s unique about marriage when couples live together while dating? What’s unique about marriage when you’re already sleeping together?
Psychologically, premarital sex sets us up for a shallower commitment to marriage. We want to try the person out before we get tied down. We want to make sure it’s right for us. We corrupt love from beautiful selflessness to a self-serving pleasure. People get divorced because of “irreconcilable differences.” I think a lot of the time, people get divorced because they think their spouse is no longer adequately serving their needs. I married you for what I could get out of you. It’s all about me. When you’re not making me happy and doing what I want, I’m out of here. That’s not how it was meant to be. Love means putting the other person before yourself. Always. It’s all about you and what I can do for you to serve you and uplift you. That could be miserable existence if it were one-sided. But if both people commit to marriage equally to uplift and serve and love the other, we have as close to a perfect relationship as one can find between humans. Ephesians 5 commands wives to submit to their husbands. It also commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. It’s very offensive now to say a woman should submit to her husband. But the second half is just as crucial. The husband must love unconditionally; he must be ready to die for his wife’s well-being. Ladies, if we are careful enough to marry someone who would die for us and will always have only our best interest in mind, we should have no problem respecting and obeying our husbands. That kind of love is worth saving yourself for. It’s worth self-control until you find someone you can commit to until death. If we reject this truth, we are setting ourselves up for pain and brokenness.
The meaning of love has been perverted. The importance of responsibility has been cast aside. As a result, people say that though they don’t like abortion, they think we need to keep it legal. We don’t need to keep abortion legal. We need to radically change our perspective. We need to restore morality in our society. Emphasize responsibility. Bind up the brokenhearted. Love unconditionally. And the “need” for abortion as a solution will disappear.