Today was great. Tonight is not.
I don’t know why I get this way. For someone so arrogant, I’m awfully insecure. I’m always afraid. I feel like I have no purpose. Things in my control slip away and things out of my control seem so big.
God is bigger. But I run from God. It’s my nature. I hide to see if God will find me. He knows where I am but he’s waiting for me to come out and listen. I’m too stubborn. Like a stupid mule, I need my bit and bridle.
I’m looking for security in all the wrong places. Even the greatest strongholds in life are weak. I can’t be perfect on my own. No one here can save me. I’m constantly disappointed in myself and in others. I need grace in the worst way. I feel wretched. I look at the world and myself and I am disgusted.
Everything is I and me, even in my humblest moments. God, save me from myself.