I’m getting married a week from today.
The paragraph break was supposed to let it sink in. It didn’t work. I’ve been waiting so long. Now that it’s almost here, it is completely unfathomable.
When all of the silly wedding planning is done, how does one prepare for the actual marriage? A wedding is one thing. It is a day. It is a party. It is a show to impress all your friends and family. A marriage is another thing. It is a lifetime. It is a promise. It is a definition of who I am.
How can I picture it? I’ve seen marriages, good and bad. But every relationship is different. I’ve been in this relationship, with this man, for ten years. But our relationship is about to change forever. No one really knows what the rest of my life looks like. Except God. Fortunately, God is the only one who needs to know. For me, it will be a surprise.
I think about silly things. Telling people how long we’ve been married, and having them think of us as a “new” couple. It’s been a really long time since we’ve been seen that way. Being Mrs. Laskowsky. Nicole Laskowsky I’m ready for. I’ve been practicing the signature since seventh grade. But Mrs. Laskowsky? Well, that’s Michael’s mom. Soon it will be me, too. How strange.
Am I ready? Absolutely. Am I ready? Of course not. How could I be? Who could really be ready for something as momentous as this? Someone once told me seeing cocky newlyweds was worrisome. They think they’ve got it all figured out and are ready for a problem-free life. I can’t remember who said it, but they commented that the couple should go into marriage with a little awe and fear. Because life isn’t going to be perfect. It’s going to be hard. There will be days when that commitment will be the biggest challenge imaginable.
And because we’re asking God to be the center of our marriage, we know the devil will be attacking us with everything he’s got. There’s nothing Satan loves more than to undermine love and to try to break apart what God has joined. It happens all the time. We’re in the middle of a holy war. It’s important to acknowledge this: without the Holy Spirit, we would lose. It is only by God’s divine mercy, grace and power that our marriage will withstand every attack. Am I ready? Nope. But God is.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died – more than that, who was raised – who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written: “For your sake, we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. -Romans 8: 31-37